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love: Tova Bracha Chinn
Monday, August 20, 2007
Memories of What was
It's a beautiful night. I'm sitting outside. Alone. Suddenly, my mind is flooded with memories. Memories about Zeidy. He is all that I can think about.
Mostly, I remember his smile. Zeidy's smile was always full of love. I remember Zeidy's playful smile as he would turn the knob on his gum ball machine, adding to the excitement of waiting to see which color would actually come.
A scene flashes in my head. We are sitting around the dining room table in 1617 Shady, Zeidy at the head of the table singing zmiros. I see the pictures and seforim so clear in the background, I feel as if I am actually there.
I see myself sitting with Zeidy in the kitchen as he tells me to be strong and remember the good things, while both of us are crying for times that will no longer be
I feel the tears running down my cheeks on that Shabbos before Purim; the last bracha that I got. I don't know why, but even then, I was sobbing while his hands were on my head. I feel his beard as he kisses me on the cheek, saying, "Good Shabbos" in that warm, loving tone.
I see him sitting at the table during the week, complimenting me on dinner and telling me that I should get married already. I never felt more loved by Zeidy than at that moment.
I see him sitting in Uncle Dovi's house at the last Purim Seuda, at first hesitant, but eventually joyous as the singing gets louder and louder.
I feel his thin shoulders under my arms as I hug him at Yudi and Chaya'le's wedding.
I see him sitting next to Bubby on the couch. Bubby is hooked up to the oxygen, and Zeidy sits down next to her, puts his arm around her, and feeds her some of his grilled cheese sandwich.
And I hear his voice on the phone during the last time I spoke to him, telling me how happy he was and how he was looking forward to everyone coming. He asks me when I am coming and I tell him, in a few weeks Zeidy, when camp is over I will come, and we'll spend time together.
But now, here I am. Camp is over. But I have only the memories to comfort me
Zeidy, I love you so much, and I know you loved me more than I can imagine. I miss you Zeidy.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
My Zeidy Lived with us...
Today, I was listening to my ipod on shuffle, and the song came on. I listened to the words. The memories flooded my mind.
"My Zeidy lived with us..." Ok, so I lived with him.
"He used to laugh..." Zeidy had a great sense of humor.
"He put me on his knee..." Who remembers when we would sit on Zeidy's lap and put barrettes in his beard?
"And Zeidy made us laugh." With his beautiful smile and that twinkle in his eyes.
"Zeidy made us sing." Was there one Shabbos or Yom Tov meal that wouldn'd be filled with singing? I remember even those times that Zeidy barely had a voice, and he would sing anyway.
"Zeidy made a kiddush Friday night." Not only did Zeidy make kiddush, but he gave us brachos first.
"Zeidy, oh my Zeidy how I loved him so, and Zeidy used to teach me wrong from right." Zeidy would teach is the proper derech, but always in a loving manner."
"His eyes lit up when he would teach me Torah" Nothing gave Zeidy more nachas than a grandchild learning (except maybe a grandchild cleaning :) ).
"And he taught me every line so carefully" Zeidy would have us test him with pesukim, we would read one word, and he would say the next from memory. He made games to get us to learn.
"I went to camp to run and play. And when I came back home they said Zeidy's gone." How many of us were in camp when we found out?
But there is a very important difference. In the song he sings:
"We just stopped being Jewish like my Zeidy was, and no one cared enough to shed a tear." But in our family, the opposite is true. If anything, our family has resolved to strengthen ourselves in out frumkeit. And many tears were shed while ensuring it.
I was on the subway the other day and I bumped into a Pittsburgher. She told me how the whole Pittsburgh is amazed at our family's strength. At first, I was surprised as well, but when I thought about is I realized that we cannot expect any less from Bubby and Zeidy's family. I cannot even to begin to describe them, but we know that any less would be unfair to them. I really think that we have this strength because of zechus avos, and that it is really their merit.
May we merit to be an honor to their memories, and may we merit to see them soon with the final redemption.
Good Shabbos.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Rabbi & Mrs. Nadoff were so in tune with each other and both such special people. You don't meet people like that now-a-days. They really respected one another and cared for each other and were an inspiration for us all.
Rabbi Nadoff waited up for us on Friday nights if we went out ( I felt really bad about that) so that Mrs. Nadoff could go to sleep. He made sure that we helped Mrs. Nadoff (after supper with clearing etc.), b/c she would never ask us and he didn't want her to have to work so hard. They did everything in such a caring and loving way and and you could feel it in you. Mrs. Nadoff had the warmest blue eyes that just smiled at you and could touch you with a look. Rabbi Nadoff always chose his words so carefully so as not to hurt anyone. We all really lost 2 very special treasures...
