A Bubby is a Bubby for Everyone

I'd like to shae a story about Mrs. Nadoff that portrays the aidel unassuming person she was.
When I gave birth to my seond chld 11 months after my first, I wasn't getting much sleep or any sleep at all. My husband took over for 2 hours each night and was exhausted. One evening there was a knock at my door and when I opened the door, thee stood Ms. Nadoff with a suitcase in her hand. She explained that her husband was out of town and she was planning to spend the night in my house in my guest bedroom. When I asked her why, she repleid, "I am a bubby and I cannot bear seeing your husband so exhausted. I will take care of the kids and only give the baby to yoiu to feed." I just stood there staring at her in shock. She calmly walked into the house, bathed and fed my older son and ordered me to bed.

True to her word she rocked the baby all night and only woke me up to feed him. It was the first night y husband actually had a full nights sleep.

In the morning at 6:30 A.M. she took care of my firstborn and as if nothing happened went off to teach. When I tried to thank her, she wouldn't hear of it, and said, "A bubby is a bubby for everyone."

Knowing the humbleness of Mrs. Nadoff, I espected her wishes and did not make a fuss of the story. Now I am telling it to be an aliyah for her neshama and I know that in her aidel but determined way she will beg Hashem to bring Moshiach immediately.

Thank you Mrs. Nadoff for everything, but mostly for being you.

Shterna Rodel

Los Angeles, California (formely Pittsburgh)

Rivki Yeshayahu sent me this link. It is part of a forum where a few Jewish women discussed Bubby. It is nice to see, and if you want, you may post your own thoughts there (or here).

Message from Aunt Bruche

Dear Friends and family,

This is such an impersonal way to let everyone know about what's happening in our family. The news from Lake Woebegone this past month has not been great. I only wish that there were some sugar coated way that I could say this.

The past six months have been a time of illness, and the month of March has seen an end to most of it. Unfortunately it has not been a happy ending. Some of you already know what has happened, but to the rest of you ---I wish there were something else that I can say. My sister, Miriam Nadoff, left us on the 5th of March after a rough six months. We were extremely grateful for the wonderful services of the Hospice organization, which did everything humanly and superhumanly possible to make her passing as comfortable as possible, as well as for the over and above care given to her by her children who came from almost the ends of the earth to care for her.

During this time, Murray had been suffering more and more from emphysema and a new development, lung cancer. Not wanting to put him through conventional treatment (read 'torture') we opted for alternative treatment. This helped to stop his awful cough, but ultimately was not as successful as we hoped it would be. Yesterday morning, March 26, surrounded by a loving family, he suddenly decided that enough was enough, and in a matter of minutes passed peacefully to a place where breathing and pain could no longer touch him. He was lucid and joking until almost the last minute. We had hoped to have him with us a little longer, but not in the condition that he was in.
Again, Hospice was there f or all of us, for which we are extremely grateful.

We think that he finally decided to go for the instrument flying rules test that he had wanted to take many years ago, and is trying out his new wings somewhere out there.

We are all together supporting one another and doing the best we can, There are a lot of wet shoulders, and a lot of laughing reminiscences of Murray, and a lot of the love that he left us.
Just thought that you would like to know what has happened.

Love, Bruche, Craig, Laurie, Paul, Vicki, Alan, Teri, Brian, Nancy, Rob, Jeff, Amanda, David, Kevin & Valery

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Click on the Link to View

Here's something I wrote about my reflections from Yudi's wedding.

sefer torah

We're thinking of writing a sefer torah in Bubby's memory, if anybody is able to or intrested in donating some money for it please email levi feigelstock at levifeigelstock@gmail.com

SHABBAT SHALOM

I would like to wish you all a great and happy shabbos... and mazal
tov to the Zarchi family.

From crownheights.info

A Pittsburgher wrote:
Mrs. Nadoff was a true roll model to all. She was a mashpia to so many people, so many people asked advice of her, and she always answered in the most greatest answers that were full of wisdom..she will be missed by all.

This is an email I received on Shushan Purim:

hi chaya, im so sorry abt your grandmother! i want u to know that through her i have taken upon myself to be more careful with lashon hora as well as more kavona in my davening. ur grandmother was a very special lady!!

im so sorry
mushky weiss


It gave me comfort to know that other people were affected enough to take something on in Bubby's memory. If you know of anything else, please post it, so that we can all benefit.

BLOG

If you want an invitation to this blog, or just want to know how to
use it, please leave your email address, and i will iyh send you the
relevant information. Have a shavua tov.

There once was a little boy who had a bad
temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered
it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't
lose his temper at all. He told his father
about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally
able to tell his father that all the nails
were gone. The father took his son by the
hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You
have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never
  be
the same. When you say things in anger,
they leave a scar just like this one. You
can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say I'm
sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal
wound is as bad as a physical one.
Please forgive me if I ever left a hole. 

---

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How To Eat Kibeh

The whole  family is seated around the table at yet another  family simcha.  We have sung shalom Aleichem and aishes chayil, gotten brachos from Zeidy, made kiddush, waited in long lines to wash, made hamotzie, and have taken a few bites of delicious challah.  We're waiting for the highlight of the meal.  We got it!  The kibeh is served.

 

Confusion takes over the room.  With all the different opinions and suggestions, the original and proper way to eat kibeh is lost. How do we eat it?  What anout those of us who don't know how?  What should we do?

 

In this article we will go through the various misconceptions and settle the divergence, once and for all.

 
Some family members say that the proper way to eat kibeh is to hold it from the point and begin eating from the rounded edge.   Sounds simple enough.  But wait, what about all those mushroom kibeh?  They don't even have a point!  From which side do we hole the mushroom? 

 

Others argue to hold it from the rounded edge  and start devouring the point. But the double-pointed kibeh (salad kibeh) doesn't have a rounded edge!  And the mushroom ones don't have a point at the top.  What to do???  I wanna eat it already!!!!

Let's explore the background of this delicacy.  Does anyone remember the days when there were only mushroom and meat kibehs?   Remember when Yehuda Leib had the brilliant idea of putting the salad INTO the kibeh?  So, we can safely conclude that the salad kibeh has no place in the argument.  Sorry, Leibish, it's out.

Now we have to decide based on the two traditional versions.  It's difficult.  How am I supposed to know?  After all is said and done, I'm no Yeminite.

 

As usual, the best way to solve a difficulty is to call Buby.  Hang on while I give her a ring.

 

Ok, we have it.  Bubby's ruling.  Eat it in good health.  Enjoy your meal.  And enjoy the simcha.

** For the sake of argument:  Both the meat and mushroom kibehs have at least one rounded end.  Hold it from a rounded side, and eat the other end.  (on the mushroom kibeh, it's always the other side J )

---

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Tehillim with Bubby

 

I hear but I don't see

Words flying at me

Shouting

Blurry greyness before me

Wetness on my cheeks

Words

They are words of tehillim

She is shouting them

Yelling at Him

Where is He?

Words in front of me

I don't see them

I cant see them

How can she

Daven with such strength

I'm the healthy one

Yet I cant see

These stupid tears

My vision is blurred

I cant see reality

The strength in her voice

Urges me on

I struggle to see

Through the tears

G-d, come

Help

She needs You

I need You

We need You

Where are You?

Poem About Bubby by Tova Treisser

Glittering blue eyes stare me in the face, as they tell the tale of accomplishment and meaning-a journey now done,
As they now leave me to start a great mission telling me so powerfully-He is the One!
The message that she so badly wanted, and did everything she could, to let the world know,
Her very “last words” that will ring in our ears forever of, “Ain od milvado”

…Bubby, I just keep thinking of those Shabbos and Yom Tov afternoons, when you turned from bubby to babysitter, with your arms stretched out wide,
Hovering over each grandchild as you read all your entertaining stories sad and funny, as we laughed and cried.
And you’d get all dramatic and play and act out each and every single scene and part,
And there was always a beautiful lesson to take out, because you wrote the stories from way deep in your heart.
Where you wanted to give over to the children the lessons to the adults, so you presented them in a fairytale way,
Once again using your unique creativity to come and let us know what you really wanted to say,
And even though I was a child, the messages were so clear, it was Hashem to Whom I owed all my blessings big and small,
Making sure to carry out every order of His whether very short or very tall,
And I always waited impatiently, my favorite part, was to hear the beautiful song,
And then with all our feelings and emotions from the story, all together we’d sing along…

Bubby, I remember pulling up so vividly the steep driveway of 1617 Shady,
To of course, no matter what the time of day, be greeted by at the top by my smiling Bubby and Zeidy,
And at 3 am without fail there was always spaghetti out piping hot,
And the soup would be bubbling sitting all ready, in the huge tall pot,
And Bubby would serve each one with a smile, as if it were bright and early in the morning,
When you should have been in bed for a long time, dreaming and snoring,
And as we’d compliment you on the delicious food, you’d brush it away, saying, “enjoy in good health” which of course we did,
And then after that, I’d look forward to run into the basement loft-where I hid,
Where I’d play with all my cousins in our little cut off world down there,
And your pattering footsteps throughout the whole night, I would always hear,
Making food for the next batch of grandchildren at 4 am that came,
Greeting them all with enthusiasm and a big smile, each was special and got the same.
And during the intervals of each family that trotted in, instead of taking a break,
You’d stay up with all the babies throughout the night, so their tired parents shouldn’t wake,
And when we’d wake up, there was always a sweet “good morning” and another tip of advice, from Bubby who knew it all,
She could solve every problem, and had a solution for everything, big or small,
And she knew how to speak directly to your neshama, so it could really hear,
All the messages she wanted to give, with her hand over your shoulder, as she said “my dear”…

And then she’d learn some Pirkei Avos with us, and tehillim to follow,
And only then our Shabbos party we would deserve, and our candies we could swallow.

And then Erev Shabbos I’d watch you make kibeh, as you made tons and tons- of course “no big deal”
And then you’d make and prepare, the best and yummiest Bubby Miriam meal,
And invite all those who needed, for everyone was family, whoever needed a home,
In a sheltered place with an open door, for all to gracefully roam,
A place where peace and harmony filled and thickened the air,
And the Simchas Hachaim and true happiness, you could literally hear,
Where all felt welcome, there was always always more than enough space,
And if you were out of bedrooms for the night, the sukka was a happening place,
And if we needed anything we knew to find Bubby, saying tehillim on the couch with all her might,
Or in the kitchen making delicious food, in case anyone needed another bite…

Bubby… I still don’t know what a grandmother means, my friends tell me it’s someone who buys them presents,
I ask them if it’s someone who also takes in all the lonely and feeds all the peasants,
And always has a good line to share with all who come her way,
And always has a gentle warm hug to make someone’s day,
And stays up doing all her work, when no one sees, in the dark of night,
But Bubby, I’m sorry, sometimes I woke up and saw you, you couldn’t hide, your face was too bright,
And it stood out even when you thought all were in their dreams fast asleep,
It was in those times I learned the most and stored those memories so deep-

Bubby-thanks for leaving me the beautiful and detailed stencil of yourself, that I hope to attempt to trace,
I’m still no sure I’ll be able to, because I’ve never drawn an angelic face,
… Or huge ears that knew how to listen to silence, as they filled up with everyone’s painful tears,
… Or eyes with strength and a pumping heart, that will continue to look me in the eye for years and years.

… So, if I’m having trouble drawing, will the master artist help me in her humble way, as she has always done,
Using those same tears, to cry and plead, for now you’re so close to the Holy One,
And beg him to make your dream and wish finally at last just come true,
“To walk hand in hand in our holy land” as a privileged and confident Jew,
And “To walk in the ways of our fathers (and mothers)” for now you my Bubby are one of those,
Who I’m fortunate to tell the world I’m a proud and lucky grandchild of one of our special heroes.


- a granchild