Zeidy

I wanted to write something about Zeidy, but nothing I can write feels good enough. I would just like to repeat what Zeidy told me about Bubby a"h.

It was Motzei Shabbos of Shiva. Everyone was going to get up on Sunday, but I couldn't muster the courage to actually be menachem avel Zeidy. It was just too hard.

Time was passing, and I was pushing it off. Suddenly, I noticed Zeidy get up. He was on his way to bed. It was now or never. Uncle Dovi encouraged me to go. I followed Zeidy into the kitchen.

I still had no idea what to say. What can anyone say to comfort an 80-year-old man who has just lost his wife of 55 years?

Tentatively, I approached Zeidy. I cleared my throat. "Um, Zeidy, I still never got to actually say the words..."

I didn't have to finish my sentence. Zeidy turned, pulled out one of the tall black breakfast chairs, and sat down at the movable island. I sat down next to him and took his hand.

"Hamakon yinachem eschem bsoch sha'ar evlei tziyon v'yerushalayim." I could barely choke out the words.

We sat there, holding hands, and I had no idea what to say. Zeidy understood. This man, a man of so few words, knew that it was hard for me to speak, so he took the first plunge.

"She left us with fine, fine memories." I looked into Zeidy's glistening eyes, and I knew that as hard as this was for him, he was ready to let go for Bubby's sake.

We sat a little while longer. Zeidy was telling me that as hard as it is, we have to be strong. I don't remember anything that I said, but what struck me was that Zeidy was looking beyond the final stage, back to the beautiful memories that will remain ours to cherish. And Zeidy radiated real strength, being strong was not just an expression.

So now, as we mourn Zeidy, all I can think about is that last one-on-one conversation I had in person with him. And I am comforted. I know that the pain might not disappear so quickly, but I also know that the memories will stick will us even longer. And the memories are good ones.




If anyone has memories of Zeidy, please share them so we can all benefit from them.

Boruch Dayan HaEmes

Chaya Mitchell a'h passed away this morning.
(Daughter of Jenny Nadoff-Chicago)

Message from Aunt Bruche

Dear Friends and family,

This is such an impersonal way to let everyone know about what's happening in our family. The news from Lake Woebegone this past month has not been great. I only wish that there were some sugar coated way that I could say this.

The past six months have been a time of illness, and the month of March has seen an end to most of it. Unfortunately it has not been a happy ending. Some of you already know what has happened, but to the rest of you ---I wish there were something else that I can say. My sister, Miriam Nadoff, left us on the 5th of March after a rough six months. We were extremely grateful for the wonderful services of the Hospice organization, which did everything humanly and superhumanly possible to make her passing as comfortable as possible, as well as for the over and above care given to her by her children who came from almost the ends of the earth to care for her.

During this time, Murray had been suffering more and more from emphysema and a new development, lung cancer. Not wanting to put him through conventional treatment (read 'torture') we opted for alternative treatment. This helped to stop his awful cough, but ultimately was not as successful as we hoped it would be. Yesterday morning, March 26, surrounded by a loving family, he suddenly decided that enough was enough, and in a matter of minutes passed peacefully to a place where breathing and pain could no longer touch him. He was lucid and joking until almost the last minute. We had hoped to have him with us a little longer, but not in the condition that he was in.
Again, Hospice was there f or all of us, for which we are extremely grateful.

We think that he finally decided to go for the instrument flying rules test that he had wanted to take many years ago, and is trying out his new wings somewhere out there.

We are all together supporting one another and doing the best we can, There are a lot of wet shoulders, and a lot of laughing reminiscences of Murray, and a lot of the love that he left us.
Just thought that you would like to know what has happened.

Love, Bruche, Craig, Laurie, Paul, Vicki, Alan, Teri, Brian, Nancy, Rob, Jeff, Amanda, David, Kevin & Valery